


Endless Blues

by DAIOSTIEL



Series: (Alice) in the Wonderland [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, First Meetings, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Just... feels tbh, M/M, Ocean, Sea God, Sea God Magnus Bane, fr it is, meet ugly, okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:55:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DAIOSTIEL/pseuds/DAIOSTIEL
Summary: Alec meets the ocean, and the ocean saves him.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: (Alice) in the Wonderland [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065146
Comments: 5
Kudos: 107





	Endless Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this prompt](https://www.instagram.com/p/CH4Ci35FoFf/)
> 
> arsistiel on tumblr/twitter/instagram (previously 'sleeepdeprived')
> 
> [Thank @warmthofrain for proofreading this :,)]

The ocean watches the hazel eyed man sit there, up on the cliff, a pencil in his hand as he scribbles on his sketchpad.

Others just come along to capture the blue body’s beauty in a camera and then leave, but the hazel eyed man never does that, never _did_ that. He comes here and spends hours capturing the chaos of the foam and the water in acrylic and colors, in charcoal and in pencil. He has always respected the ocean, he looks at it with adoration.

He’s been coming here for three years, he used to arrive twice a week with a huge grin on his face and a canvas tucked under his arm. He’d sit on a rock and paint for hours, fingers messy with oils, color marks on his clothes, eyes flickering between his canvas and the ocean.

Now, though, his visits have become more frequent. Almost every day of the week. His gentle grin has turned into a frown, and his slow, languid brush strokes on a canvas have turned into messy, hard lines on a sketchpad.

For the first time in three days, Magnus rises up with the waves to catch a glimpse of the handsome man. The man looks tired, dead in the eyes, his dark hair looks like they haven’t been taken care of in days and clothes look unwashed, old. It’s slowly becoming his appearance, nowadays.

How cruel is the world to him to take his smile away?

Magnus moves his lips in a silent whisper, and a light breeze starts to flow against the hazel eyed man’s face. The man smiles a little, looks up at the sky and closes his eyes, taking in the air. Even the wind recognizes him now.

Magnus smiles with the man, feeling helplessly content.

Alec opens his eyes and stares up at the sky. It isn’t cloudy today, the breeze feels refreshing and the sounds of the waves are calming.

What is his life anymore? These waves, the breeze, these rocks, his pencils, colors, his sketchbook? This is all he has, all he has left.

He doesn’t have a family. He doesn’t know where his siblings are. He’s been disowned, thrown out for being who he is. His paintings aren’t giving him enough to get through his daily needs. He doesn’t have a home anymore.

_This place is all he has._

Who is he anymore? This. He’s just _this._ A man sitting by the ocean, helplessly scribbling it’s pictures.

Today there is a high tide again, the waves rise almost up to the cliff. Sometimes, during tides like these, Alec feels as if the waves are watching him, as if the ocean is looking over him, wanting to talk to him.

Alec looks back down at his sketchpad, the lineart of the ocean he’s been trying to draw there. It’s nothing, his art is reduced to a few messy strokes of a pencil, the block in his mind not letting anything more pass through.

Alec pushes the sketchpad on the grassy ground and stands up, walking over and stopping on the edge of the cliff, stretching out his arms and feeling the wind hit his face. It’s welcoming.

The waves go wild as he looks down at them, they roar and rustle, splashing up, as if to reach for Alec.

Alec smiles again. “Thank you, for being here with me.”

He’s dangerously close to the edge, but he doesn’t care. He’s been here loads of times and…

_He doesn’t care._

Time stills as he falls, down and down, closer to the water. His closed eyes leaking tears. The air rushing through his cheeks. 

“No,” a honey-sweet voice says, as Alec feels himself rest on a soft and cold-wet mattress, “the ocean can’t destroy something that has loved it so beautifully.”

There’s a man kneeling in front of him, as he lays on the surface of the waves. The man’s caramel skin shines under the sun, the crown on his head reflects the light. His golden green eyes, outlined with glitter-blue, have an adoration in them which is foreign to Alec. No one else has looked at him like that. 

Alec pushes up on his elbows, watches as the waves scurry around this small circle that they’re in. “How-” he looks up at the golden-green eyed man, “How did I get here?”

The man smiles. “You fell.”

Alec blinks, his mouth gaping open. “You don’t understand,” he says, and it echoes. “I didn’t fall, I jumped." 

The waves still, the breeze stops, and the sun's bright light diminishes behind the clouds.

The man takes a breath, his eyes flicker all over Alec’s face. Alec wonders if this is all a final hallucination before he loses his life. 

“What is your name?” he asks, tilting his head fondly, the crystals of his crown glint.

“Alexander,” Alec replies. “Alec.”

“Alexander…” The man breaths, and the ocean begins to stir again, the skies clear up and the wind runs by. _“Protector of man.”_

“Who are you?” Alec asks instead, mesmerized by the other man’s eyes, his rhythmic voice.

The man reaches out and brushes Alec’s hair away from his face, carding his ring-clad fingers through it. “You might call me _god of the seas,_ but my name is Magnus,” he, Magnus, replies. “Has anyone told you how beautiful you, your heart, is?”

Magnus talks like the calming sounds of the waves, and Alec feels as if it’s distantly familiar, but he isn’t used to it. “Why did you save me?”

Magnus chuckles, his fingers linger on Alec’s face. “The ocean is grateful to have you, Alexander.” he tells him, and a wave rises behind him, as if agreeing to Magnus’ words. “The ocean wants you to stay.”

“There’s nothing left for me, nothing left for me to stay for.” Alec stares at him, his head slightly hazy. 

Magnus shakes his head. “These waves, that you’ve revered, these blues that you’ve immortalized in your canvas, are still here.” he says. 

Alec opens his mouth to say something, but Magnus silences him.

“Humans, they don’t care about the ocean anymore. But you _do,”_ he continues, “You cherish us in ways most don’t, in ways people haven’t in decades…” a soft rustle from the ocean, “and we cherish _you,_ Alexander. The ocean cares about you.”

“Magnus…”

“Don’t give up,” The waves still again.

 _What is his life anymore? These waves, the breeze, these rocks, his pencils, colors, and his sketchbook_

This is all he has, all he has left.

_Who is he anymore? This. A man sitting by the ocean, helplessly scribbling it’s pictures._

A man, sitting by the ocean, adoring it’s beauty.

All his life, he’s run after a goal, an aim. He has been running a race, a marathon, and doesn’t even know if the prize at the end of it is worth it or not.

It’s time to stop running and walk over to something he really wants, does something for himself, without a hidden aim behind it.

“I won’t,” Alec whispers, hearing the ocean roar again, the sun shines brightly on his face and the winds blow.

Magnus’ face lights up with hope, satisfaction.

_Love._

The sea god cups Alec’s cheek, his palm is soft against Alec’s skin. Alec leans into it, feeling as if he’s _finally_ at home.

Magnus bends down, pressing his lips against Alec’s, and Alec lets him. The world is cold and Magnus is warm. He’s here, and Alec doesn’t want to leave.

Alec closes his eyes and loses himself.

When he opens them again, he’s back on top of the cliff, laying on the grass and gasping for air, coughing out water. His clothes are dripping wet and water droplets fall from his hair. It feels like he’s just taken a breath of air from almost drowning underwater, both literally, and metaphorically.

Alec sits up and looks around, everything’s still the same, his sketchpad and his pencil are thrown on the ground right beside his lap.

And there, on the edge of the cliff, is the golden-green eyed man.

Magnus grins at him, his shirtless torso glimmering under the sun, the beautiful golden crown on his head standing out. His eyes sparkle. He’s riding a wave, his body below his torso submerged in it.

The sea god wags his finger at Alec and then he dives down in the ocean, disappearing.

Alec tries his best to click a mental image of him. He runs his hand through his wet hair and grabs his sketchpad and his pencil.

“I won't.” he repeats, as he sketches the image of the caramel skinned man riding the waves. Alec’s still dripping wet, but the warm breeze protects him from the cold.

  
  


**THE GREAT DESTRUCTION**

_Ocean inspired works by Alexander Gideon Lightwood_

_Saturday, November 26, 7-11pm_

_Hosted by Berry Campbell, 520 W 24th st_

Alec finds himself standing there on the edge of the cliff again, exactly one year later. He stares at the endlessly blue ocean that roars back at him.

“Thank you,” he whispers, “for being here with me.”

He closes his eyes and takes in a breath, letting it go along with the breeze.

A warm hand slides in his, interlocking their fingers.

“Thank you, for not giving up.”

Magnus stands right beside him, dressed up from head-to-toe, the golden-crown-shaped brooch pinned above his heart glinting in the sunlight. He waves a hand towards the ocean and the roaring is silenced into rustles, a peace in the air.

Alec turns to face and returns the smile that Magnus gives him, squeezing his hand, a reassuring gesture.

“Come on, darling, you don’t want to be late to your own art gallery.”


End file.
